BTS in London: adaptability is our top travel skill
As GenX women, we spent our formative years believing the ads: we can have it all.
Today, in our 40s and 50s, we’re wise enough to know what that really means: we have to do it all.
We excel at our jobs, academics and careers. We keep things on track on the home front, especially if children are involved. We’re reliable and step in when our friends and family need help—sometimes to the point of sacrificing our own needs, health, comfort or joy.
We do this because long before the “You’ve come a long way, baby” ads started hitting us in our generation’s formative years, women have been conditioned—for centuries—to take care of others before ourselves.
Sound familiar? If so, you’re in the right place. Because this reality can affect our mindset when we think about travel, even if it’s something we absolutely love to do. As much as we might want to completely immerse ourselves in the places we visit, we tend to put responsibility and the entertainment of others ahead of our own.
Some of us thrive in this travel lane, and even have turned these skills into a thriving career. Diana, for example, recently launched her own travel guide business, Urban Sass. Having journeyed with her now for two straight years, I can vouch for the amount of care, thought and curiosity she puts into our adventures. (You should definitely book a spot on her next tour, coming up in November.)
You might think I’d be the same. Nope. I’m a very self-assured and efficient traveler, no doubt, and I enjoy all aspects of the journey—even waiting at the airport to fly home (I’m sitting at the gate as I write this). But I know myself at this age, and I’m a rather selfish traveler; I’m entirely focused on my own experience with the sights, art, food, people and culture in the places we visit. I’m not down anymore with making sure everyone else has their metro cards or knows what time to meet in the lobby or where to go if they get hungry. I’ll make the arrangements if it’s for a trip with my husband, or if we’re on location (because, hey, it’s the job ). But I’m done—much to the chagrin of some of my girlfriends—with planning other people’s vacations. I did one big girls’ weekend a few years back, and that was enough; I told them I’ll show up at the airport for the next trip, but someone else can plan it. (There’s a reason why travel agencies and guide services like Urban Sass are thriving!)
But whether you’re like Diana and love to help others experience travel, or you’re like me and just love doing it for yourself, there is a skill set that women share (thanks to those centuries of conditioning) that comes in quite handy while on any journey:
Adaptability.
A few months ago, while filming in London, it was surprisingly bumpy. This is a city that definitely shouldn’t have been difficult: Diana once lived there. I’ve been visiting London since I was 15. Both of us know the boroughs and the transit system like the backs of our hands. I’ll admit we stacked our schedule a bit too heavy, and we were racing from one filming location to the next. But wow, it was unusually difficult.
Here’s just one near-disastrous outtake:
An entire day was set aside to leave the city for an interview with the artist Maggi Hambling, CBE next to Scallop, her massive metal sculpture on Aldeburgh Beach, Suffolk. What should have been a lickety-split 90-minute train ride out of Liverpool Station turned into a three-hour near-miss, thanks to weekend rail maintenance, a mix up with the Ipswich car rental (neither Matt, our DP/camera guy, nor I drive manual), and total uncertainty whether any train would get us back to London for our evening plans.
It. Was. HECTIC. I felt myself channeling Neil Page ala Planes, Trains and Automobiles (“You’re messing with the wrong guy!”), desperate not to lose my shit.
But in the end, the episode segment is just gorgeous.
Adaptability.
The bus from Liverpool Station had both wireless and charging stations for our devices; I contacted the car rental shop and adjusted our arrival time. That’s when I also discovered the rental mix up.
Thankfully, the shop had one automatic vehicle left to rent: A shiny white 2024 Mercedes C-Class. Yes, it blew the budget, and yes, Matt had a blast driving it through the English countryside.
Get in, loser - we’re going to see Maggi Hambling. Ipswich, February 17, 2024.
We made it to Aldeburgh Beach with literally ONE minute to spare. As we peeled into the car park, we saw Hambling standing by the beach boardwalk, curiously inspecting a QR code billboard for car park fees. I just told her that if we were ticketed, I’d pay her fee. We didn’t get any parking or speeding tickets, and we managed to get aboard at Ipswich train station—right after downing a quick pint at the pub across the street—just before the doors closed.
We were literally on a moving train back to London less than one minute after this was taken. With Matt, The Station Pub, Ipswich Railway Station, February 17, 2024.
The interview was fantastic. The weather held up, the sculpture was mesmerizing to see with the naked eye, and Maggi is a delight. She’s my favorite living artist and I’m still a bit starstruck after meeting her. I wish I could’ve taken her to dinner and talked for hours.
Adaptability.
She granted me a selfie and I’m a total stan. She was worth every moment of adaptability. With Maggi Hambling at Scallop, Aldeburgh Beach, Suffolk, February 17, 2024.
Being flexible and curious is not only a saving grace when under stress—especially in a new place—it can also bring unexpected and incredible experiences to your feet. On our last day of filming, we were spent. Instead of the long walk to the tube station, Diana hailed a traditional London black cab. Turns out, we met Sue Wilson, one of the 2% or so of women licensed to drive London black cabs, and before we knew it Matt turned on the camera and we were interviewing her as she drove us through Covent Garden. Our willingness to adapt our plans brought this small-business owner—literally, she owns her cab—and mother of three daughters into this episode.
Kismet: When Diana hailed Sue Wilson’s black cab. London, February 18, 2024.
Perfection is the enemy of good. As women, we could stand to keep that in mind more often. We can’t control everything, especially when we travel. But we have skills and conditioning that we can apply as we go: we can choose to stress out when something goes wrong, or we can move forward with a sense of curiosity and openness.
Adaptability.
Speaking of curiosity, we hope you’re curious about this London episode. It’s the second episode of Season 2 of The WTAF Show, and it premieres this Sunday, May 14. That’s right, on Mother’s Day in the U.S.
Fun fact: I first hatched the idea for The WTAF Show four years ago on Mother’s Day 2020. I couldn’t travel thanks to the pandemic, so I sat down that morning with my coffee and remote control, resolved to watch some of my favorite episodes of No Reservations. Within an hour, I was searching for food & travel shows hosted by women and showcasing women artists and chefs. I couldn’t find many, and I imagined I wasn’t the only woman who would like to see them, too. By the end of the day, I wrote the business plan for The WTAF Show.
And here we are. Adaptability.
Whether you’re a mother or not, we hope you enjoy the London episode, and that The WTAF Show inspires you to see more of the world yourself, on your own terms. If that means planning for others to join the adventure, go for it! If that means going solo, have at it! If that means you’d like help or guidance, ask for it!
